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Thank you Pitch Public Relations for sponsoring this post by providing a copy of Dancing in the Kitchen. All opinions are my own.
Recently, my husband and I had our eighth anniversary! If you are interested in our super adorable story, go check it out HERE! And while to many, that may seem like child’s play, I have been caught off guard by people asking me advice or for my opinion because I’ve been “married so long.” Have I, though?
One thing that I’ve realized in marriage is that it seems like we’re always the newbies. No matter how long I’ve been married, I feel like we’re just babies in this process. I think back when I was a newlywed, and I would ask for advice or input from others who were 8 years in. Now I realize that that’s where I am! And someday I will look back on today and think, “Man, we really were clueless to all that was coming, weren’t we?”
Dancing in the Kitchen by Debbie Cunningham
Recently, I was invited to read Dancing in the Kitchen by Debbie Cunningham. What a beautiful book!
The biggest take from this book, if there’s nothing else that you learn from it, is that marriage is NOT EASY! Marriage is work.
Debbie Cunningham emphasizes that truth that I have always believed about love and marriage: that it is a continuous choice. Love is a choice. When the butterflies fly away and the feelings of being swept off your feet fade, there is still the choice to love.
What Does it Mean to be Dancing in the Kitchen?
Probably the most iconic “happy marriage” moment is the wife cooking dinner, the husband coming in, starting to sing, then taking her hand and spinning her around. They laugh and hold each other, dancing in the kitchen and enjoying a sweet moment.
The author reminds married couples to remember and keep these little moments alive. Remember to “dance in the kitchen.” For your marriage, it might be dancing, or it could be quoting your favorite TV shows and laughing every time (that’s our thing). Whatever it may be, the point is that you should remember to have those light-hearted, happy, silly, fun moments with each other.
Marriage can start to feel really serious! There’s finances, kid-rearing, work-life, household chores… It can be easy to forget to dance in the kitchen every once in awhile and let loose with your best friend!
Why This Book is Important for Married Couples to Read
In an earlier post I talk about the importance of pursuing each other in a strong marriage. My husband and I decided to read and complete a 31-day challenge. I read the Wife in Pursuit and he read the Husband in Pursuit.
As I talked about in those posts, the reason books like the Pursuit books and Dancing in the Kitchen are important for married couples to read is because marriage takes maintenance.
To keep a strong marriage, you have to work on it. I’m not a big fitness person, but my husband is. He works out every day. Although he is strong and has reached many of his fitness goals, he continues to work out. Why? He’s already strong! Well, most people know that to stay strong you must continue to work out. Once a person stops working on it and keeping up with their fitness, they start to weaken again.
This is how marriage is too. You might have a strong marriage, but to keep it strong, you have to continue to work on it. You have to keep lifting weights with communication, going through resistance training with difficult arguments and disagreements (see what I did there), and practicing endurance and stamina by sticking it out through it all! (I think we can all agree on what the cardio is-wink, wink!)
The reason this book is important is that that’s what it’s all about. keeping your marriage new. Sticking it out when it sucks. Finding new ways to appreciate and love each other.
What I Love About this Book
Debbie Cunningham is a Jazz musician. Throughout her books she includes lyrics to songs that directly relate to the events in her marriage journey. She narrates the struggles that led to a certain song or the joys behind a different one. I absolutely love getting to see the connection between her songwriting and what was going on in her life.
Another great part of this book is the author’s Godly approach to what marriage should be. Her faith in God and her relationship to Him are what she credits her relationship with her husband with. Without an understanding of what love is and what commitment is, marriage goes from difficult to nearly impossible.
She starts the book with a prayer. I just love that her desire truly is to help people in their relationships. Her goal is to make people see that a lifelong love IS possible and totally worth the work. It IS possible to recover from pain, heartbreak, worry, etc.
Cunningham reflects on a time that her daughter was sick. The dread of waiting for that big surgery and the idea that she could have to say goodbye to her baby weighed heavily on her every day. She and her husband had to learn how to navigate these unknown waters and give each other the love that they needed.
The Hard Stuff Takes Us By Surprise
These are the things that we don’t think of when we say “I do.” We say “for better or worse” and we don’t realize that could mean losing a loved one or infertility or unexpected family crises.
This book is a great reminder that for better or worse does not just have to be words. It reminds us that even though you might be going through what you think is your worst you can find the better again.
WOW..great review So excited to to read this!❤
Thank you! It is a great read, I hope you enjoy it!
My husband & I have been married for almost 23 years and we are more in love with each other now than ever. I think it’s because we’ve gone through so much together and we know each other very well. This book sounds amazing and I will definitely be checking it out!
Yes! I definitely feel that as time goes, the love is different but so much deeper. I know my husband so well and I have so much trust in him!
Congratulations on your anniversary! This looks like a sweet read.
Thank you!
Yes, yes, yes! The little moments can make amazing memories, and it really is important to enjoy being with one another. This books seems to be full of positives. Happy anniversary to you both.
I love this book! I think it is important to remember to dance in the kitchen! Even when times are tough. Every Friday night we have a date night on the Sabbath. Everything and everyone is tuned out. We just focus on reconnecting. After 25 years it still works!
I just added this to my list. My husband and I have been married for almost 21 years and together 26. Marriage is HARD!! We have had our ups and downs. It takes real effort to make it work and to be honest, sometimes I don’t want to put in the effort. Something like this will help me through those times. Thanks!
Sounds like a lovely book, I wish I had more spare time to read!
OH yeah, I hear that. This book was not very long so I was able to knock it out pretty quick!
This is definitely going on my “must read” list! Thank you!
Just love this entire article with my whole heart! My husband and I have walked through hell numerous times together and I can honestly say he is my best friend and somehow through it all we keep our very bizarre sense of humor and looks at each other where we’d just know what we are thinking and it all fades in the background and all I see is him. And we are approaching 19 years and I honestly have not a clue where the time went.
You really got me interested into this book. I feel like I will be crying by the end of the book. Thank you. I will put it on my reading list 🙂 And happy anniversary!
Thanks for a great post, I’ll have to keep notes on this book so I can come back to it once I get married 🙂
Sound like an excellent book! Might have to grab a copy!
I cannot wait to read this. It’s in my Amazon cart right now! Great analogy of working out and how someone needs to keep it up to see the progress and results, and how that relates to marriage.
Love and marriage is a choice. It’s hard work too, and always a work in progress. We don’t dance in the kitchen, but we have moments like that.
I’ve been married twice … and have decided I won’t ever get married again. Not that I don’t believe in marriage, but because my ex-husbands social security is a lot higher than mine. 🙂 I loved your story!!! And I love Jazz!
This looks like a great book, and such a good message. I am single, but agree that in any relationship, you have to continue to capture the moments.
What a lovely resource. Thank you for sharing
Sounds like a great book. I especially like the idea of connecting her journey and stories in the book to music. That ads a special “something” to it.
What a great book! We’ve been married a long while too and once we had kids the whole dynamic changed. It’s like we had to rediscover the new people we were becoming. But now our oldest is 9 and we are happy as ever. I think there’s a misconception that you need to love the person you married, but the truth to a happy marriage is to grow together and love the people you are becoming.
Great review! This book is so me! My husband and I spend time “working” on our marriage every day…we never take for granted that the other just “knows.” This is one we need to read!
Looks like a must to add to my reading list! Great message!
Lots of great information. It reminds me that “dating” never ends in a successful marriage. Keep things fresh and fun. My husband and I have been married 30 years, and I can totally attest to the important points/tips you’ve shared.
Great review this looks like a good read for sure. Our relationship is better with each passing year, I count my lucky stars every day!
Sounds like a really good book! Thanks for an excellent review.
“Marriage takes maintenance” - Amen! What a great review. I look forward to reading this book.
Sounds like a great read for any couple to learn and grow from.
What a fantastic reminder!!! Having been married for nearly 23 years and moved 12 times within those 23 years, we have certainly had our fair share of “rough times.” Finding those littles that made us laugh together becomes crucial and vital to our relationship.
Wow! That is a lot of moves! But now I’m thinking about how many times we have moved so far in our marriage and we’re about on track to do the same… LOL
Wonderful review, makes me want to read the book now. Thank you, for sharing .
Wow this sounds like a really amazing book, I cant wait to check it out.
I love that you share reviews for things that align with your core values! You always put your marriage and family first ♥