Realizing Your Parents are Not Superheroes

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I want to preface this post by saying that I wrote this the day after my dad’s surgery and it was a very stream of consciousness type of writing (sorry in advance for the rambling). Sitting with my dad I had one of those “realizing your parents are not superheroes” like you thought moments. Since I’m better at putting my thoughts into writing, this post came to be.

Realizing Your Parents are Not Superheroes

As a kid, we see our parents as invincible. The idea that something could happen to them or that we could lose them is such a difficult thought to process. Even when in our head we know it’s true, realizing your parents are not superheroes can be a hard moment.

For me, I think it was when my mom had to get surgery on her neck. I was actually pretty old at the time, but growing up my parents were just strong. No, they didn’t work out and they are not necessarily in super good shape… but neither of them shied away from hard work. Moving, building, tearing down… whatever needed to get done, my parents were there helping.

My Parents are Actually Superheroes and I have Proof

Mom was one of those women that just went and did what needed to be done. I’m one of those, “mmmm this sounds like a job for the Max. I’ll just wait for him to come home” kind of women. Not her. She makes people nervous because she lifts and moves way more than she should. She’s also getting older and that makes people doubly nervous.

My dad was also always surprising people with his willingness to do physical labor. He’s not a big guy. He’s not super muscle-y. But when someone needs help he’s there.

There was a time when we were at a restaurant (a Wendy’s, I think) and we looked out the window and saw this young man (like late teens) carrying a shelf on his back. At first we just figured he was going to move it to his car, but then he kept walking. The guy made it about a block when my dad got up and ran across the street to see what he was doing.

The guy saw the shelf on the curb that someone had left out to get rid of and he wanted to take it to his dad or grandpa or something like that. He didn’t have a car and was carrying it all the way home. Dad took turns carrying it for blocks through the city. By now he was already a grandpa, helping this young, physically fit kid carry this shelf. His body paid for it later but he didn’t seem to regret it

I remember just laughing to myself and thinking, “that’s such a dad thing to do…”

Mortality Sneaks Up on Us

So when things happen that show their age: backs giving out, mom getting hearing aids, dad squinting to read… It takes me by surprise. Every time. When did my parents stop being 40? Aren’t they still 40? I found out that something about the age of 40 is stuck in my brain as my parents’ age and they will forever be 40 to me.

There have been so many moments that the realization that my parents are not, in fact, invincible and immortal. Mom fell off a ladder once, that was really scary. It was also not long after the aforementioned neck surgery…

However, the scariest and biggest thing that has come to pass to make me have to accept that my parents will not live forever is my dad getting cancer.

Realizing Your Parents Are Not Superheroes-Cancer is a B-Word

When the news came to us the first thought was, what does this mean exactly? After learning more the doctor has been optimistic. It is something that will be hard to get through but it will, in fact, be gotten through. And we are all praising the lord for that.

Even after learning about it, it didn’t seem real. It seemed impossible. And even during his treatments, he looked the same. He has had very few visible side effects, he still came to things. He was tired some days and skipped church a couple of times because of pain when sitting, but he just seemed like dad.

There he and mom are in Hawaii after he finished up Chemo and Radiation treatments. He looks great!

After he finished Chemo and Radiation and he and mom took a vacation it kind of felt like it was over. He was feeling better. But he still had to have the big surgery.

Yesterday was it and that’s when it became real. That’s when I looked at my dad and realized that I could have lost him. This could have gone so differently, and, realistically, it still could.

But God has been with my dad through all of this and we are just walking in faith. I am so thankful.

They May Not Live Forever but They are Still Superheroes

I looked at mom and saw that she was feeling so many different emotions. She still took care of everything. She still asked about how work was going, she still gave advice. She’s still a superhero.

I looked at my dad and I saw all that he is suffering. Through all that is going on, through the pain he’s felt, and the fear, through the worry, he jokes with the nurse. He asks if mom remembered to do such and such thing. He’s still a superhero.

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