How to Know if Eloping is Right For You

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Today is Valentine’s Day and love is in the air! What a perfect time for me to talk about how to know if eloping is right for you! My sister is getting married next month, (Yay!) and I really love the way that she has decided to just do what she wants to do with it!

I wouldn’t say that my sister is “eloping” necessarily. She’s having a wedding, but when my mother asked what she wants to do, my sister’s response was, “I want to be able to get it all done in less than $1000, and I don’t want a long engagement.” My parents were pretty good with that.

Her resolve to keep her wedding simple, small, and focused on just getting married made me think about how I had many times wanted to just run to the courthouse and get the job done during my engagement.

How to Know If Eloping is Right for You

If you are engaged or in a serious relationship, eloping has probably come up a time or two (or a million). When my husband and I were engaged, there were a lot of times that we thought we wanted to just go to the courthouse and be done with it. We just wanted to finally be together!

I honestly still think that we could have decided to forego the wedding and I still would have no regrets. After all, it was about a lifelong commitment, not the wedding itself. Although, I wouldn’t have all these beautiful pictures to look back on, so there’s that…

If you and your partner are talking about marriage and all of your different options, then you’ve probably discussed eloping as well. Eloping is a valid option for many couples who want to run away and get married, although it isn’t for everybody.

Reasons For Eloping

There are a few reasons for eloping. Every person is different and it’s important that you do what feels special to you and your spouse. If you’re curious about how to know if eloping is right for you, you might think about these things.

Intimate Ceremony

Perhaps you want to have a ceremony just the two of you, or just with your parents. Eloping is perfect for ceremonies like this; quiet and intimate. You could also elope but still have a big party, so you’re not exactly excluding all of the people you love.

Saving Money

There’s no denying that even a simple wedding can start to add up, financially. Even if you want to keep everything as simple as possible, there is still the venue to think about (you need space for the guests), food (you gotta provide SOME sort of refreshments when inviting people to an event), and all of the other expenses that come with a wedding.

Eloping is a perfect way to save money. Many couples decide to elope so they have money for a down payment on a house or so that they can have a beautiful honeymoon.

Skip the Stress!

You’ll also avoid months of wedding planning, which can be a huge bonus if the idea of planning something for that long gives you a massive headache. I don’t like planning parties or events, so even though I DID have a wedding, I was pretty easy on most decisions. I just wanted things to be easy and stress-free and that guided a lot of my decision-making.

But even with keeping things simple stress comes from trying to plan something that involves people. People can be stressful, I tell ya!

Still Memorable

I think many people worry that if they elope they won’t have something beautiful and memorable to look back on, but that’s what I mean by make it your own!

I personally could NOT care less about centerpieces at my wedding. This is something that many a bride have stressed over, spent hours handcrafting, or made ridiculous demands about… I spent ZERO dollars on centerpieces. The venue had some neutral centerpieces on the table. They were my centerpieces. Boom. Done.

Do this! Decide what matters to you. If it doesn’t matter to you than don’t worry about it! And that might apply to the entire wedding itself, and that’s okay.

Maybe you still want a beautiful dress and to have wedding pictures. Get a dress! You might even still want to hire somebody like Andrea Matone so you can get some awesome photos and send out a wedding announcement to those you love.

If eloping suits both of your personalities and what you want out of your wedding day, then you should go ahead with it and not worry about anybody else. Decide what is important to you. Spend money and time on the parts that will be special for you. i

Reasons Against Eloping

As said before, everyone is different. You may have liked the reasons for it, but if you want to know how to know how to know if eloping is right for you, then you have to look at both sides.

There may be reasons that you really do want a wedding. Maybe even though many of the reasons above sounded appealing, you still feel like you would miss out if you didn’t have a wedding.

There are reasons why eloping might not be right for some.

Celebrating with Friends and Family

When you decide to elope, you’ll be missing out on celebrating the entire event with your loved ones. Weddings are an opportunity for everyone you love to come together to celebrate this momentous occasion in your life!

It also can be very difficult to widdle down your guest count. Our problem every time we wanted to elope and just have close family and friends be with us was, “Oh, but of course we want ‘so-and-so’ there…” And before we knew it we no longer had an “intimate” ceremony, but a full-blown wedding.

There may also be people that will find it offensive that you didn’t include them. Although I don’t feel like you should care TOO much about this, because you need to do what is best for you, your finances, and your needs, it IS something to consider.

What If…

Some people report always thinking about the wedding that they never had, so that’s worth thinking about if you feel like you might get this feeling later on down the line.

Memories

Finally, there are all of the pictures and memories you could have with the people you love on the day. You can still have some beautiful pictures taken, as mentioned earlier, but you won’t get the traditional wedding shots that are fun to look back on.

Alternative Options

Now, let’s talk about what else you can do if you’re still not sure. I love how my sister is doing it. Mostly because I pretty much think anything my sister does is awesome because she’s awesome. But ALSO because she made it fit her.

You could potentially elope, invite your parents only, and go for dinner with them afterward. Keeping your group very small can still have the same secret, intimate feel. Plus, your parents don’t get upset.

You could also throw a reception for friends and family after eloping, so you still get to celebrate with the people you love, but you enjoyed the ceremony alone. I have known many couples who did this. They started all the planning then decided they didn’t want to wait. The wedding that they had planned just turned into a celebration!

You could potentially have a reception on a different day if you want to enjoy married life alone with your partner for a while! If you don’t want a party right away, then why not plan a blow out 10 year anniversary party? This can be a great event to look forward to!

Was Eloping Right For You?

Did you elope? What advice do you have on how to know if eloping is right for you? What advice do you give to couples who are considering eloping?

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