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This is the first post of the new year! My husband and I decided to start our year off focusing on us. As a Christmas gift, we got each other Husband in Pursuit and Wife in Pursuit by Ryan and Selena Frederick, writers of the Fierce Marriage blog. These are 31-day challenges for husbands and wives to “pursue” Christ and each other. I am extremely excited to get started on the Wife in Pursuit Challenge and I hope to learn a lot from it.
Today, January 1, is our first day doing the challenge. I am so excited to start!
My husband is not a big reader so the fact that he has committed to read from a book every day and complete this challenge is so big to me.
To see how we launched this challenge check out our Facebook Video. In this video, we talked about what we
No, We’re Not Struggling
Sometimes when a couple decides to take steps to strengthen their relationship or take a marriage course, etc, people assume it’s because they are unhappy in their marriage and need to “fix” it. While our relationship is certainly not perfect, I would not say that we are unhappy. This is where that saying, “if it’s not broken don’t fix it,” just doesn’t apply. We can’t wait until our marriage is broken to start fixing it! It should always be maintained!
You don’t wait until your car completely breaks down before you put oil in it. If you do then it shouldn’t be a surprise to you when it breaks down. Our marriage is the same. We need to continually be giving it “maintenance” so that it can be at its best.
As spouses, we should always be looking for ways to actively pursue each other. Marriage is a continual effort. The reason people have good marriages is BECAUSE they are always working to improve it. When I came across these books, I immediately wanted to share this experience with my husband.
Marriage is a lifelong effort. Even the most in-love, head-over-heels, fairytale couple can (and will) fall out of love if they do not continue to pursue each other daily. It just happens. It’s part of human nature.
In the past, I have written about how people view marriage with the idea that if we just find the RIGHT person then it will be successful. And while, yes, finding someone that is compatible is important, it’s more about the effort you put into it. I could probably have been in a happy marriage with someone else just as well as with my husband (gasp!). It’s not that my husband was the exact, right person. It’s that we make each other the right person by putting in the effort. Read more about it HERE.
My Expectations From the Wife in Pursuit Challenge
I am expecting this to be a bit of a struggle for us. The biggest thing will be actually completing it each day, making sure to take time out to plan, read, reflect, pray… That is going to be hard for us! Although I think it might be difficult I really am excited.
As said before, my husband is not a big reader. I am a little afraid that this will turn into something that I have to remind him to do, which will make it feel like homework. Although, I am trying NOT to expect this.
My expectation is that I will really get to work on deepening my relationship with the Christ through scripture and prayer. Although I am a believer and I love Christ, I will admit that I do not spend the time that I should in scripture and deepening my relationship with Him.
The Results of Day 1
The first day of the Wife in Pursuit Challenge focuses on how God pursues us. Only when we accept and reflect on how God loves can we understand how to love others completely.
I love how the author talks about how we often love our husbands as an “if/then” statement: “If he does this… Then I’ll do…” and how it is such a blessing that this isn’t how God’s love works. Too often this is how we love one another.
Today’s chapter is more of a reflection on how God loves us and how we can learn from this. As with every day’s challenge, there is a prayer prompt to pray for your journey and today’s prayer was to ask God to help me experience his love in new ways and to help keep the gospel as a reminder to why I am doing this.
The challenge for the day was to find 3 verses that illustrate how God loves and pursues us, which seemed daunting at first. I mean, the bible is huge! But it is so easy to find verses that talk about Christ’s pursuit of us because it is WHO HE IS.
1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Give thanks to the God in Heaven. For his steadfast love endures forever.
Psalm 136:26
Hubby’s Reflection on Day 1
I’m so proud of my husband for doing his first day of Husband in Pursuit! I asked him this morning when he thought he was going to read his chapter and he responded with, “I already read it.”
Well, color me shocked! This was such an encouraging start! It showed me that he wasn’t just grudgingly going along with something I wanted to do to appease me. He really seems excited.
Both our books gave the challenge to come up with 3 verses. I love the verses that he chose!
Listening to his reflection made me so happy that we are doing this. Getting to hear this side of him and listen to what he is experiencing is just so cool. I feel that we will both benefit personally as well as in our relationship.
I am so happy that I came across the Wife in Pursuit Challenge and the Husband in Pursuit Challenge books.
Check it out!
I do not plan on writing a post for each day of the challenge but I will be sharing reflections daily on my Facebook page alongside my husband as well as giving updates on Instagram Stories. Don’t forget to follow me on both platforms to learn about how these books are impacting our marriage!
If you are interested in doing the 31 Day Wife in Pursuit Challenge or if you have already read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
How did it impact the way you love your husband? Was there a noticeable difference in how things felt?
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This is amazing, thank you for sharing this! You are 100% right that you should never wait until a marriage is broken to start fixing it. The fact that you treasure your marriage and make couple goals to strengthen it together is absolutely inspiring. Bless you both in your efforts and your journey together!
Thank you so much!
Girl, this is awesome! I can’t wait to hear how you and the hubby end up liking the study and how it brings you closer! I too, don’t spend enough time in God’s word and I have a Bible study book on the way to my house now. Looking forward to walking more with Him. God bless you and your hubby!! xo
Love it! What a great example of how we shouldn’t wait to put oil in the car until it completely breaks down. A car needs simple maintenance…and so does a marriage. Many blessings, you guys!
Thank you for visiting and commenting! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
This is awesome! I’m so glad you are sharing your journey..so many people will be inspired!
Thank you! I really hope that it does!
I love this! My husband is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without him. Y’all are too cute and really compliment one another so well!
Aww thank you!
You are right. As spouses, we should always be aiming to grow closer and make our relationship with one another even better. Thank you for the reminder. This looks like an interesting challenge, and I look forward to seeing how you like it as you progress through the book.
Love this (and love your site by the way, it’s beautiful!) My hubby and I also met young (I was 12, he was 17) and married when I was 20. We’ve been married for 27 years and have a 23 year old daughter, and we are still really glad we married each other, LOL. We come from a line of “early meeters”, my parents met in 2nd grade and my in-laws met in their early teens as well. It does take work, though, and this is a wonderful way to strengthen your connection.
Thank you for the compliment! I love this! There is something kind of special about us knowing each other before we were grown.
I love your thinking.
This is so sweet! We tried this once, but we’re horrible with routine 🙁 Thanks for sharing!
Routine is DEFINITELY difficult for us too. In fact, Day 3 already caused us some difficulty lol!
I think this is a lovely challenge. Too many people wait until things are falling apart before they take the time to focus on their marriage. To keep it happy you have to continuously work at it!
Thanks for sharing! You guys are such a cute couple! Loved the video. We too often forget that marriage needs constant work, thanks for the reminder!
Aww thank you! Yes, marriage can be work, but for us, it’s so worth it.
Great idea! Can’t wait to read more about this!
This is awesome and I think everyone to should commit to continuous improvement not only in marriage but in all areas of life. Lifes secret sauce.
This is so cool! Such a great challenge! Good luck!
Great post! I’m not married yet (will be in September!) but I completely agree. Upkeep of relationships like this is so important. My fiance and I have done something similar like this before.
Congratulations! How exciting! I love that you already have the mindset to do things to strengthen your relationship. We did premarital counseling before we got married and I really enjoyed learning together.
I love it! Nice post, and definitely, it doesn’t need to be broken to work in our marriage. In fact, I believe that marriage requires a lot of attention. I mean the good one, taking care of each other, making the time to go out alone, talk a lot, etc. It’s great to find new ideas, like this book.
This is such a cool idea! I can’t wait to see what you think when you are all done. And so cool thet your husband is committed to doing it too! Love not waiting to “fix” things until they are broken too. This is a really amazing idea 🙂
Yes! I am so excited that he’s doing it with me! So far it has been a really cool experience and it has gotten me into the word more.
You are both just charming! Best wishes I think this is such a wonderful idea and way to start the year off! Thanks for inspiring!
You two are such a cute couple, obviously in love. I love that! You are right, you need to keep working on your marriage continuously, everyday TOGETHER. I know this from experience. I know you will have great success. I’m grateful for your example. Thank you!
Maintenance in a relationship is SO important! This is something I am finally beginning to discover myself…
This is so great. I love that your husband is doing it with you. What a great team. You both will grow and bond so much.
It really has been so much fun doing this with him! We’ve been doing daily check-ins on my Facebook page and that alone has been a cool experience.
I LOVE this post and agree with your thoughts 100%! It’s so important to make time to build and strengthen our relationships. I can’t wait to learn more about your experience with this program!
We’ve really been enjoying it! It’s also been really fun recording our daily check-ins for the Facebook page and talking to each other about our chapters.
I love this idea! I completely agree with you about needing to maintain a relationship. I subscribed to your blog because I want to read more. Thank you so much for telling me about this post on Twitter! I love reading similar blog posts yet give me new and wonderful suggestions.
Yay! I’m so glad! I am hoping to give an update this weekend. I have also been doing daily video updates with my husband on my Facebook page if you want to check them out!
These sounds like really great books. Thank you for sharing.
I feel like we are getting a lot out of them!
Oh,I remember doing these when we were early in our marriage, as well. We just celebrated 22 years. It hasn’t been easy, but it does take focus, work and a lot of prayer. Good luck to you and enjoy the journey. It is a learning experience ~ every year brings new challenges, new joys and new memories.
Thank you so much for sharing and encouraging! Congratulations on 22 years!
Such a great idea. My marriage has been somewhat neglected lately due to having two young children and demanding jobs, but I plan on working on it for sure!
Such a cute couple. Love the fact you are working at this together. If only all couples could have your lookout and participate together as a family. God Bless You Both!
I agree. Marriage is definitely something that needs effort and working at it all of the time. I can’t wait to read your thoughts on this challenge.
You can check out our video updates on my facebook page! I am also hoping to do a halfway check-in blog post this week!
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