Simple Marriage Advice You Need

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It’s been a while since I’ve done a marriage post and I think that means it’s about time that I do! Having been married for eight years now, I am no expert, but at this point in our marriage, I’ve learned a few things and feel qualified (enough) to give some simple marriage advice to others who maybe need some encouragement. Marriage can be hard at times. EVEN if you love each other!

What?… But if you are meant to be it should be easy, right?!?! To that, I say, ha! …and no… In fact, it could maybe be argued that it’s harder when you DO love each other and really want to make it work. You put forth a lot more effort, instead of just saying, “Ah well, I guess that didn’t work out, moving on!” You keep at it!

Why “Simple Marriage Advice” is All I’m Giving Today

The thing about marriage advice is that every relationship is a little different. We all come into it with different past experiences, different hang-ups, and different personalities!

Things that aren’t a big deal to other people and don’t hurt their marriage at all can have a larger impact on a different couple. Again, this can be due to past experiences or just simply personality.

However, there are some things that are pretty applicable to anyone and can strengthen any relationship. This simple marriage advice is pretty all-encompassing. Although, simple they are often the things that we as spouses tend to forget or struggle with!

Accept Flaws 

This can be extremely hard in marriage. I feel like accepting flaws in a spouse is often more difficult. Why is it harder in a marriage than in a friendship?

When you’re friends with someone, it’s easy to accept their flaws, because, let’s be honest, it doesn’t really affect you that much. They won’t be raising your children, contributing to your finances, paying your bills, etc.

Your spouse, however, is always there. They ARE raising your children with you, paying bills with you, and doing life with you. Their flaws make a bigger impact in your life.

This is where perspective has to play a part.

No one is perfect, so it’s important to resist the urge to be critical of your partner’s every flaw. When you find yourself ruminating on your partner’s flaws, try to remind yourself of some of your own weaknesses that you need to work on. Doing so will help you to gain a little perspective. Often, small flaws can easily be embraced.

Forgiveness 

Oh boy… Forgiveness… Simple concept, yes. Easy application? Not so much.

Although forgiveness is so, so, so hard sometimes, it is extremely important in a marriage. Because, as we said before, people are not perfect. Mistakes WILL be made. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

When a person hurts you, whether it’s a slight argument or a serious betrayal, it’s your choice to forgive them or not. If you do choose the path of forgiveness, remember to STAY in a state of forgiveness. What I mean is that if you have forgiven your spouse for something, it shouldn’t be sneaking back into future arguments.

Holding onto negative feelings will lead you to have resentment which could resurface and cause further problems.

Quality Time 

A lot of people advise couples to “take a break” when things are getting rocky. In my experience, this is not what helps us! It sounds like it is what you need. You know, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” right?

What I have found is that usually when my husband and I are starting to feel… let’s just say, “less in love” to put it nicely, what we actually need is time together that is better quality.

We might be spending time together every day, but of what quality? Sometimes taking time to step away from “real life” for a while to have some quality time together is exactly what we need.

By making sure you that have some fun and alone time, you can help yourselves to rediscover your bond and view one another in a positive light. It’s not always easy to make time for one another between work and (possibly) the kids. However, setting aside any time that you can to make some good memories can make a world of difference. 

Marriage Counseling 

If the time comes that you think you might need marriage counseling, do it. A lot of people act like once you decide to get marriage counseling that means it’s over, but really that depends on the efforts of the couple.

Some people question does marriage counseling work? The answer will vary from each couple and situation. When you truly want to work out some of your struggles, counseling can be a good way to do it.

Sometimes having someone who is not connected to your situation to take an impartial view on things can be helpful. It helps both people to see the other side of things.

The Really Simple Marriage Advice

Remember why you married that person in the first place! Even in the hardest times, think about what it is that made you decide to spend your life with this one person forever.

Write it down somewhere that keeps you remembering or take time to tell each other.

When I’m frustrated with my husband’s spending habits, I thank him for the way he loves our kids and how faithful he is. I know… Super simple, but it helps!

Cover photo credit: pexels 

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